We are spoiling our kids

I am afraid we are spoiling our kids and raising brats! As I start to think this thought I get an email in my in box from "What to Expect" titled "How not to spoil your child"

Alice screams a lot and tries to get her way that way. Miles starts to cry. These are the tantrums I have to put up with. I guess I just need to get tougher. One night I put a bunch of Alice's toys in "time-out" and nothing worked. Why won't they listen to me and do as I ask?!!!


Thursday, December 17, 2015
Cottage cheese
HB egg
2 cup tea
2 rice cakes with humus and avacado
DC coffee
Light egg nog (I bought this light stuff by mistake, but it isn't too bad)
Chunk of mozzarella cheese

Gut fauna

So I've heard that sauerkraut is good at improving your gut fauna. I am thinking that is what I need. I also need to cut my carbs. I am just not feeling up to par lately and I need to make some changes. I think my junk food binge is catching up to me.

When Aaron was gone a couple of weeks ago I bought tater tots and made them and hot dogs for the kids and I. I NEVER do that! I mean we only get hot dogs when we are at street festivals or summer BBQs. I never make them at home. I've also thought I need to start some physical activity again. I am getting winded if I have to walk up the stairs 3 or more times. Not good.

So I'm back on my kick and trying to commit. This morning I ate leftover quinoa with feta, kale, and tomatoes and a hard boiled egg. I'm trying to sugar and carb detox and it is so hard. But I'll keep trying. But Christmas is coming and there are all kinds of treats and bingeing available this time of year! Yes, there are so this will be extra hard.

Keeping away from alcohol will be a challenge too. I just need to stop buying it, well and stop drinking it too.

I feel like it is also time to get tracking on my fit bit. I haven't even been hitting my goal of 10k steps!

Tuesday, December 16, 2015
2 cup DC tea
HB egg
L/O quinoa, feta, chickpea, kale, tomato (salad)
DC coffee (Santa's White Christmas) with whip cream
Meat stick
Cheese stick
L/O pheasant stir fry and white rice
Peanut butter/oat/chocolate chip cookie
Peppermint candy
Cup of egg nog
Fried fish tacos (at a friend's)
Cookie

Something needs to change with accessibility to guns

I'm done! I'm done supporting gun rights. Yes, me and my husband hunt and we have several shot guns safely locked away, but if having these guns means allowing psychos who want to kill people to have guns too, I'm willing to give them up. 

Something needs to change in this country. I can't believe that mass shooting have become common place and some of the targets have been the most innocent, children. I have now begun to fear for my own family's safety. Below is a letter I sent to Heidi Heitkamp and my other senator/rep. I urge you to write to your representatives in Congress and let them know how you feel about this issue. The gun lobby can't keep blaming mental health and we can't continue to be complacent. Action needs to be taken and out voices heard. 

Dear Heidi Heitkamp,

Enough is enough with this gun violence. I am a supporter of gun rights, I really am, but the recent mass shooting in San Bernardino has put me over the edge. Our country has experienced so many mass shootings that people are dealing with these events on a regular basis. This should not be the case.

I am beginning to live in fear for me and my family’s safety. North Dakota is not immune to this. There was the shooting at a wedding reception in New Rockford a few months ago. That shouldn’t have happened. People should be able to attend joyful events without thinking about the potential of dying. How are we going to keep guns out of the hands of people who have the potential to kill others? How can we keep our communities safe?

Last week I had a real breakdown, this was before the San Bernardino shooting. I dropped my son off at pre-school here in Jamestown. I forgot to bring his heavy coat for when they play outside. When I returned to drop off his coat I simply walked into the school, unnoticed, walked into the classroom, unnoticed again and dropped off his coat in his cubby. As I did this I looked around at the kids playing and realized how vulnerable they were. What if I were someone with a gun and mal intentions to kill a bunch of kids? I went home and cried, my thoughts of losing my son to such violence consumed me. The fear and the feeling of loss were real at that moment and I was in hysterics all morning.

Yes you can say this is a security issue on the school’s part, but really, should we even have to worry about a situation like this?

I am supporting gun control now. Solutions need to be found and the gun lobby can’t keep blaming mental health. I support guns for hunting. All other weapons need to be regulated and strict background checks made (for hunting weapons included). I don’t know exactly what the solution is, but we do need to look beyond our borders to other countries who don’t have these instances of mass murder to see how their gun laws protect their citizens.

Having this fear is disturbing and frightening, and living in fear of your fellow Americans is no way to live free.

Thank you for your time,

Jennifer P. Kross

Meatless night

I have been going meatless more and more often. My kids love tofu, or "tofood" as they call it. Last night I fried up some tofu with a Tastefully Simple orange ginger saracha sauce. It was pretty good and the kids ate it up. My son is deviating more and more away from meat. He didn't eat any turkey on Thanksgiving and when I put meat on his plate he struggles to eat it. I'm not sure what that means exactly, hot dogs he will devour. I refuse to make a separate meal for him. He can eat what I make or go hungry. Does that make me a mean mommy? 

Frying up Tofu

On the side we had mashed cauliflower and broccoli. I've done this with just cauliflower before, but I thought I'd throw in some broccoli to see how it worked. A little butter, parm cheese and it worked pretty well. The kids enjoyed it, and that is usually the barometer in our house.

Mashed broccoli and cauliflower

Guts and gas

I'm contemplating seeing a dietitian. Although, I'm not exactly sure where to find one in my town. My guts are ruined. It may be my eating habits lately. I keep telling myself I'm going to turn things around and eat better. But it hasn't happened yet. I also keep telling myself I'm going to do an elimination diet, but that is challenging. Do I get the rest of the family involved with this experiment? And why start this now during the holiday season when great, indulgent food is abundant and prolific.

It wouldn't be too hard to eliminate dairy, although I do love cheese and eat a lot of it.The other stuff, well, I guess I'd just have to prepare. Bread and gluten would be very challenging, but I guess I'd just have to do a lot of prep and have veggies cut and ready to pull out of the fridge and eat.

I am officially on a junk food binge

Junk food! I typically have the will power to stay away from it, but while grocery shopping last night I found myself purchasing potato chips and corn chips. I just couldn't seem to help myself.

These things are delicious by the way

Maybe it is the whole Thanksgiving thing and I'm getting ready for a fun and food filled holiday. I can't say. Part of it may also be that I'm feeling sick no matter what I eat these days. My guts have been reeling with gas lately and I can't figure out what is doing it. Yesterday I ate a spinach salad and my guts turned inside out. The other day I ate McDonald's and my guts ached (no surprise but still).

Last night I ate up all the french fried onions that were supposed to be for the green bean casserole for Thanksgiving. These things are like the most dangerous food ever made. They are addictive. Plus I've been snacking on the candies I bought to fill the kids' Christmas countdown calendar. Hershey kisses and peanut butter cups. I'm going to hell!

I also got a bit wasted last night. I drank quite a bit and smoked a little. So that probably accounts for the munchie factor.
But the good news is...I got a new hair cut!

What does Jesus have to do with it?

This isn't a food related post, but it is something that eats at me and I need to vent. Thank you blog for being that venue. I also can't discuss this with my husband because it involves a sensitive event, his grandmother's funeral service.

So as an agnostic (agnostic not atheist because I simply can't say for myself that I have proof there is or is not a god, but I am not denying his/her existence) my view points about religion are aloof, in that I don't care to subscribe to any religion and I respect the views of others and where they desire to place their faith. I expect similar respect in return. However, I get very defensive and offended when someone tries to witness to me and tell me that I am not a good person because I don't believe in god or that Jesus was the son of god and died for our sins.

And that is where I ran into a problem at my grandmother-in-law's funeral. As the pastor began to talk about how grandma accepted Jesus into her heart and now walks in the kingdom of heaven he also turned the sermon into a bashing of those who have sinned and do not accept Jesus as the son of god. I found my self in tears, but I'm not sure the tears were shed for the loss of grandma. The tears were shed because of the attack I felt on my beliefs.

The sermon went something like this: In a discussion grandma had with the pastor she questioned whether she had been a good enough person to be accepted into heaven. Pastor told her that if she accepted Jesus into her heart and that he died on the cross for her sins that would be enough. I believed that is what she believed and how she wanted to picture her afterlife. However, the Pastor proceeded to tell the people assembled that they needed to do the same and that no amount of goodness or kindness on my/our part would be enough if we didn't accept the "fact" that Jesus was our savior.

I CALL A BIG B.S. ON THAT SHIT! Give me a break! So simply being a good person isn't good enough to be rewarded in the afterlife (what ever that may be)! That I can be a total SHIT in life but if I accept that Jesus died for my sins I have an automatic ticket to heaven (whatever you believe that might be). That type of talk makes me upset!

I'm not sure exactly what the motives of this pastor were, if he was trying to convert anyone present or just reassuring those who already accept Jesus, but come on! Was this the place to pull that move?
What about recognizing that everyone present may not subscribe to that mantra and that they have different beliefs about how their current life will be rewarded when they pass on.

My mantra, be a good person, kind, trustworthy, loyal and you will be rewarded by the memories you leave with others. You will be remembered positively and that is how you will live on. I do believe in redemption and second chances. I refuse to believe that the life I live isn't good enough to lead to a positive, heavenly afterlife. I believe sin as defined by...well the bible I guess...is inevitable but you don't need to believe that the "son of god" absolves all of that because he is dead. No one entity should have to bare that burden. I believe that you should be responsible for yourself and take responsibility for your actions and if those actions are "sinful" that is all on you and you alone should be accountable.

With that I again state that I refuse to believe that my life isn't good enough! I refuse to believe that by living my life as a good, honest person with some indiscretions here and there negates my right to have a free and inspiring impact when I die. I will not live my life tied to an entity and believing something that has little basis in truth or reality (as I see it).

And I will teach my children to think for themselves and guide them to believe what corresponds to their needs and sense of reality. And that isn't a bad thing. Here is a good article to help drive home my point.  
"When these teens mature into “godless” adults, they exhibit less racism than their religious counterparts"

So how is that FitBit thing going?

You may be asking, "hey Jen, how is that FitBit thing going for you?" Well, since I quit the couch to 5K I haven't been paying much attention to it. Oh I keep it charged and I wear it, but I'm not as conscious of it as I was in the past. I try and keep track but I've just lost the will I suppose.

So now I'm just making do.

Recovering again!

Well, as I predicted Halloween was a blow out of food, booze and smoke. 

I was totally hung over on Sunday and could barely function. Good thing I have a compassionate husband. He took care of the kids most of the day while I nursed a headache and sour stomach. I barfed and my kid ran to my husband saying..."mommy's throwing up". Yes dear mommy was throwing up. I was able to take a good nap and woke up somewhat functional.

However, come Thursday and I still felt like I was recovering. As 40 approaches I'm more and more aware that my body is less able to recover from such episodes of debauchery.  I am also aware that it is going to take a lot more than sitting on my bum and eating junk to shed these unwanted pounds.

I'm also coming to the conclusion that I'm on a slippery slope to a very unhealthy lifestyle. My guts have been twisted for a while now. I'm having a constant gnawing feeling that is on the verge of nausea. I've been eating a lot of carbs and pasta lately, buying Cheetos and other junk, there are left over Oreos in the cupboard that keep calling me, and I've been making excuses to eat fast food (i.e., Taco Bell and McDonald's). Yesterday I bought fried chicken tenders from the grocery store deli and I swore off fried chicken a long time ago, meaning this was the first time I've had fried chicken in like 10 years.

Where to go from hear. I've been thinking of an extreme solution, meaning gluten free and no carbs. I'll need to be strong and find ways to help the family cope with this decision. I am also thinking of going dairy free too. I know, the no cheese thing is going to kill me and I probably don't want to start that until after the "Wine and Cheese" tasting event at our Arts Center.

Let's see where this goes.

Sugar is my favorite!

Sugar!

You know you love it! We all do!
And this time of year, I mean Halloween, the house if filled with it. So why fight it? That' what I'm going with right now. Within reason of course. But come Halloween night! It's party down time. The grandparents are coming to watch the kids and we can stay out all night if we want to! Yep, I love to party on Halloween!

So don't expect much good behavior from me.

Thursday, October 29 2015
Everything bagel with butter
Yogurt with pear and a little sugar
DC coffee with whip cream
2 cup tea
Rice cake with peanut butter and jelly
Cheese rice cake with hummus
Cheese
3 fun size 3 Musketeers bars
Chili
Corn bread with bacon and butter
Squash
3 Oreo cookies
Chicken Cesar wrap
Cheetos puffs

Well what do you say to this Coke!

I've debated with myself about a calorie being a calorie. And now the research is in! Here is a study that shows SUGAR is the culprit.

"The findings add to the argument that all calories are not created equal, and they suggest that those from sugar are especially likely to contribute to Type 2 diabetes and other metabolic diseases,..."

So what do you say now Coke?  By removing the added sugar from the kids in the study diet, they effectively turned their health around.

Luckily I don't have to debate with my kid's school anymore. They got a new director, far better than the other one in my opinion, and she is on board with improving the kids snacks and reducing their sugar intake.

That said...I ate 3 fun size candy bars today. I'm working on it.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Bagel with butter
2 cup tea
DC coffee with whip cream
L/O Sheppard's pie with added mushrooms
Celery and dip
Rice cake
Cheese and crackers and bean dip
Chicken and squash
2 Oreo cookies
Beer and 3 shots whipped vodka

Gas and nausea

Nothing seems edible lately.

My stomach is in a constant state of nausea. I don't get it. It seems like since I caught that stomach bug I haven't been enjoying food. I feel hungry but nothing seems appetizing. Except candy that is.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Everything bagel with butter
Cottage cheese with pear
L/O Sheppard's pie
3 fun size 3 Musketeers
Meat stick
Cheese stick
Quinoa chips
Rice cake
L/O Shepard's pie
Snacks at Halloween party

On the south end of 210

Well, I got on the scale the other day which I haven't done in a while. It read 209. Well, I thought at least it is on the lower side of 210. I've said it before that I'm not focusing on the scale and I really haven't been doing anything to get my weight down. I tried the Couch to 5K thing and that didn't work. I just couldn't push through the pain. I don't think it was supposed to hurt that much anyway.

So what do I do now? I hate that my town doesn't have full access to a pool year round for working out. It just sucks! I love swimming and that is my choice of workout. But that is another excuse.

Monday, October 26, 2015
Bagel with butter
Rice chex cereal with cashew milk and strawberries
DC coffee with whip cream
2 cup tea
L/O beans and rice
Bread with butter
Olives
3 fun size 3 Musketeers bars
Brats and sweet potatoes
Rice cake
Jelly beans

I paid for my indiscretion

Well, first of all yesterday I was so looking forward to my fast food meals. But, when we got to McDonald's drive through the line was super long and it was not moving! I mean not at all! I waited 8 minutes at the back of the line (8 minutes is a super long time for fast food and when you want to get out of town). So I diverted and went to Burger King. That was a mistake. I paid for that with heartburn, indigestion and gas. By the time I got to Bismarck I had to shit!

Me and the kids did have a super fun time at Pappa's Pumpkin Patch

We played and ran around. I pretty much forgot about my stomach issues. The kiddos didn't want to go to Wendy's for dinner and frankly neither did I. My gut was still twisted and I could hardly think of eating anything. So we went to McDonald's for happy meals. I got a cheese burger and small fries and a water. Not the indulgent fast food meal I wanted, but it suited the mood I was in.

So today I'm going to try and be better remembering the gut ache I had yesterday. Although tonight I am hoping I can do some indulgent drinking and a little smoking (if you know what I mean). The husband is taking one of the kids to visit the Grandparent's farm and I'm planning on putting the other kid to bed early and watching TV! If you are a mom you know how precious having your own TV time is. I rarely get to watch what I want. It is with TV as it is with eating. We don't want our kids to watch too much and we strictly limit their intake. Consequently I don't get to watch that much TV and I've started to treasure it as much as my kids do.

Exercise =
Friday, October 23, 2015
Cottage cheese with Jelly
Roll with butter
2 cup tea
DC coffee with whip cream
L/O stuffed acorn squash
L/O spiced chick peas with yogurt sauce
Quinoa chips
Meat stick (these things are bad for me too, they repeat on me and I taste them all day), cheese stick and olives
Chocolate ice cream
Dinner?

It is bad that I'm excited about this!

 Ok, so today I have plans to take the kids to Pappa's Pumpkin Patch. It is a fun little attraction in Bismarck (1.5 hours away from me) that has a bunch of pumpkins all over the place and fun activities for the kids. There is a corn pit where the kids can play in a bunch of dried corn kernels and get it all down their pants. They have hay bail mazes and slides, a mini zip line and horses for them to look at. I am picking them up at their respective care givers after they eat lunch.

However, this means a quick lunch stop for me and that means Fast Food!!

I will probably get something from McDonald's on the way out of town. And we may stop at Wendy's for dinner with the kids. I am imagining eating a burger and fries right now. Is this terrible of me? It may be, but lately I just haven't been up for eating anything and this is getting my mouth watering.

Don't think bad of me. I once made a list of things I wouldn't eat anymore and fast food was on that list. But come on...swearing off that stuff forever is just impractical! Right?

Exercise = followed the kids around Pappa's Pumpkin Patch.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Oatmeal with peanut butter and jelly
2 piece cheese
Granola bar
Burger King - whopper and fries with diet cherry coke
McDonald's cheese burger and small fries

The dilemma of dinner

I'm in charge of food here. It is my lot as the Mom of the house. So that means I have to get creative and have a constant source of inspiration for meals.  My one go-to are these "Everyday Food" magazines that have been discontinued. They were a Martha Stewart production and I was super pissed when they stopped making them.

There are so many good tips and recipes in this magazine. Yes, they now have web stuff and youtube videos, but I don't use those resources in my kitchen. I'm happier with my paper bound cookbooks and non-electronic resources.


Exercise = none
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Oatmeal with blueberries and honey
DC coffee with whip cream
Celery with peanut butter 
Rice cake with humus
Spicy chick peas
Olives
Roll
Cheese quesadilla 
Grilled red pepper

The stomach bug

The mysterious stomach bug. When you get it you will know. Diarrhea, vomiting, general feeling of weakness. Yep that's how it goes. It has run its course through the family here and we are slowly recovering. My 4 year old got it first and I'm convinced he got it from school.

Everyone goes through it at some point right! It isn't pretty and when your kid is barfing and doesn't yet know they should make it to the bathroom before they puke all over the carpet it can be a big mess. My 2 year old puked all over our rug and we had to drag it outside and hose it down. I'm just hoping that my nose hasn't gone blind to the smell and we were actually able to get the smell out of the house.

Exercise = 45 minute nature walk with the kid
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Cottage cheese with rhubarb jelly
Egg and cheese in a cup
Beans and feta
Rice crackers
DC coffee with whip cream
2 cup tea
Stuffed acorn squash - with sausage, onion, celery and apple
Cheese

Ok, ok, I know I'm boaring

Ok, so I haven't had anything exciting to blog about lately. I'm just a little drained. Or rather I haven't been inspired by anything lately. It seems like health conscious stuff comes in spurts and maybe it is the time of year. Halloween is coming and no one wants to think about depriving themselves of the candy avalanche that comes along with Halloween.

Fall is a fun time of year for some people and I really do LOVE Halloween. But I do get the blues this time of year too. Especially since I've moved to North Dakota. I don't like being cold. I grew up in Florida where the winters rarely got below freezing and if it did, it didn't stay that way for long.
The first time I saw snow I was 18 and on a trip with my mom to Colorado. We went up into the mountains and saw some snow up there. This was also the first time I'd ever seen an ice scrapper.

We rented a car and there was one in the glove box. I had to ask my mom what it was used for. She laughed and said "you really don't know what that is do you?" Funny moment.

It isn't just the weather it is the shorter days too. It seems to come on suddenly here. The muted daylight is very noticeable and it is dark by 6:00. This will definitely impact my eating habits.

Exercise =
Monday, October 19, 2015
Cheerios with cashew milk
Cottage cheese with rhubarb jelly
DC coffee with whip cream
Triscuit crackers and cheese (4 with pepperoni)
Triscuit with cream cheese 
Ham sandwich
3 Musketeers bar
Diet Coke 
Beans and rice
(there may have been more I ate today, but I can't remember)

A bubbling in my tummy

So there are several things going on right now and I'm not sure of the exact cause. My stomach is in knots. My TMJ pain has been acting up for over a week now and I'm taking the prescription neproxin that I have. I believe that stuff is irritating my stomach.

In addition, my kids are sick with a stomach bug that is making them vomit. My one kid had it over the weekend and the other one has been puking since Tuesday. So I may have caught that and it is working its way through my system.

I also believe I'm in need of a major carb detox. I mean I've been overdoing it for the past 2 weeks and need to come off it.

My stomach felt full by the end of the day, maybe I had too many snacks. But by the time dinner rolled around I didn't feel like eating anything. So I just ate light for dinner.

Exercise =
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Cottage cheese with jelly
Toast with peanut butter and honey
DC coffee
2 cup tea
Rice cake with peanut butter and honey
Rice cake with cream cheese and jelly
Granola bar
Cheeze-its
Guacamole chips
Meat stick
McDonald's hamburger and fries
Diet Coke x2
Jelly Belly jelly beans
1/2 veggi enchelada
Black beans

Hard time getting started

Ugg...I'm having a hard time getting started today. I'm not sure why, I had a nap yesterday and I slept well last night. I had a cool dream about going to a Motley Crue concert and being in the front row and hanging out with the band between sets.

I am having a hard time keeping my eyes open and focusing. And I have accomplished nothing on the work front.

Exercise =
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Microwave egg and cheese
Toast with peanut butter
DC coffee
2 cup tea
Chicken Cesar wrap
Piece Mozzarella cheese
White chocolate
Cottage cheese with jelly
Cheese and crackers
Brat and roasted Califlower
Jelly belly jelly beans
Chocolate bar (2 pieces)

Traveler's diarrhea

Ok, this is getting tiresome. I've had the shits ever since we got back from LA! It has only been urgent one day, but today I am on the road and suffering from frequent loose poos. Ok, this is getting gross very quickly. But that is what is going on. I'm in Madison prepping myself for a Lamaze training class tomorrow. I drove all day today and was eating road food. Although I think I did pretty good.

I brought with me a bag of snacks that held me over through snack time. I did stop at Wendy's for a frosty, burger and fries. Of course I stopped there! No Wendy's in my home town. But the rest was filled with cheese stick, meat stick, Trisket crackers, and other stuff I forgot to remember to write down.

I did get a diet Coke from a vending machine at a rest stop and how fun it had the name of a good friend of mine!

I think I'll go to the grocery story and pick up something light for dinner as my stomach isn't in tip top shape and I'm a little nervous about tomorrow. I should also pick up some Immodium.

I do hate hotels sometimes. You are sleeping in a strange bed, with strangers all around you. And this Howard Johnson hotel has incredibly thin walls. I can hear the conversation in another room. I say another room because I can't tell if it is above me or next door. 

I'm hungry!

I'm hungry! And this is a dangerous situation to be in. For me it means binge eating and eating all the wrong things. I know there is a load of leftover pasta in the fridge and I may just feed on that.

I'm rarely "hungry" because I usually head that off by snacking. I love to snack! But this morning I had cereal and that rarely sustains me very long. I haven't been having the protein packed breakfasts lately because I'm down on eggs at the moment. So I've been going with other things that I'm deducing are ok and healthy enough. I probably need to explore some of the breakfast recipes in my new Thug Kitchen Cookbook. There are probably things in there that will help me out, and likely involve beans of some description.

P.S. I've had the shits for the past three days and it is either the Bologna or all the pasta I've been eating.

I'm off to Madison, WI for a Lamaze training class. I'm sure I'll find some great food there. Will I be eating healthy, in the land of cheese? Probably not.

Exercise = none, soccer cancelled 
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Bran flakes with frozen blue berries and cashew milk (unsweetened)
L/O WW pasta with pesto, peas, added cheese
L/O meatballs, 2
1/2 Dylan's candy bar, Angle food cake
DC coffee with half and half

Chicken Cesar wrap

2 baby bell cheese

Pork chop 

Beet, chard, quinoa salad with Dejon dressing

Alcohol = one hard cider 

Keeping tabs

I'm wondering if I shouldn't evolve this blog into something more than just food and into life. I've already speculated on what I want to talk about. I've also had a philosophical post about church life.

So what do I incorporate now to create interest for myself to write about? Do I start talking about my kids? My life? Or do I move this stuff over to my other blogs?

Anyway, as you can tell there isn't much on my mind today, except for the lement that I don't log or journal my life enough. There are things I want to remember in life and I don't want them to pass me by. I want to look back on certain moments, no matter how small and remember them. It is no surprise that these moments revolve around my kids. Because it is the little moments that comprise the everyday life that I love.

Exercise =
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Everything bagel with butter
2 pumpkin doughnut holes
2 cup tea
Piece of bologna
Noodles with black beans, ricotta cheese, olive oil
4 piece of cheese
Granola bar, cherry and dark chocolate

Piece of cheese

Piece of bologna 

Almonds

Quinoa chips

Enchiladas (it is supposed to be vegan but I added cheese at the request off the family)

Recovery

Ok, I think I need a carb detox. We got back from our LA vacation last week. We had a blast and the best eating experience we had were these awesome doughnuts from Stan's Doughnuts. There was this chocolate peanut butter one that I can't stop talking about.

I need to recommit to my health. I've slacked off, I think mostly because of pain and lack of results. I did feel stronger but even though I said my main goal wasn't loosing weight, I think I was deluding myself.

Plus, this weekend my mother-in-law was visiting and we had a guest for dinner on Sunday. This guest is a particularly picky eater and my husband informed me that he doesn't eat beans. Well that cut out the recipe I had planned for the evening. Enchiladas from this new cook book I got.

It is a vegan cook book which I have never tried before. My husband baked the banana bread recipe from the Thug Kitchen Cook book this weekend and it was great.

I'm looking forward to exploring and making the recipes in this book. It may help me with my diet rehab.

So anyway, we ate out on Saturday and I had a pasta dish, then on Sunday we had spaghetti and meatballs (my delicious recipe) which was more pasta. And I just ate the leftovers from my pasta dinner on Saturday. So no wonder I feel like I need a carb detox. Plus I can feel the number on the scale rising.

Exercise = 
Monday, October 5, 2015
Cottage cheese
Bagel with butter
L/O tortellini with cheese sauce and asparagus and chicken
DC coffee
2 cup tea 
Popcorn
Piece of Bologna 

Meat stick

Chocolate covered blue berries

Red beans and rice

Going on vacation!

On Saturday (butt ass early in the morning) I will be boarding a plane to Los Angeles, the city of angles.

That means no holds barred on eating. I will be eating travel food the whole time. I'm going to try stuff and not worry about how bad it is for me. I'm sure however that a place like L.A. won't be too bad for me. I imagine the opportunities for good food will abound and with a more health conscious place like L.A., I assume there won't be too many things that will hurt me.

I am looking forward to going to the beach. I haven't been in so long and am looking forward to warm weather as it starts to get cold here in N.D.

Exercise = none today
Friday, September 25, 2015
Rice cake with cream cheese and jelly
Rice chex with cashew milk
Almonds
Cottage cheese with kiwi
DC coffee
2 cup tea 

I think I'm becoming a tea person

So I've loved coffee for a long time. I worked at Barnie's coffee shop at the mall during the holidays and summers during college and I loved  it. That is when I began to appreciate coffee. Their "Santa's White Christmas" is the best coffee ever!

Since then I have cut out caffeine. I can handle a diet coke every once in a while, but if I get a full leaded Americano I'm out of my head!

I feel like I've been drugged. I get light headed and jittery. I can barely function. The first couple of times it happened I didn't recognize it. But now I do and I get pissed if a barista screws up my coffee.

But now, I find myself preferring tea in the morning. I don't hardly make coffee anymore.

Exercise = Gymnastics with my kid
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Smoothy - Kenfer, banana, ground flax, avocado, stevia, cashew milk
Bagel with butter
Rice cake with hummus and avocado

Swiss Cheese
Quinoa sticks (chips)
The last of the Hershey's cookies and cream drops thank goodness!
Quizno's sub with chips and a diet Pepsi
Turkey meat ball soup with spinach

Chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips

Why try?

So I'm kind of in a "why try" mood these days. All that work with the running and eating "healthy" got me no where. I didn't loose any weight. I guess I felt better sort of, but I was in pain. On Monday my foot hurt for mysterious reasons. The next day it was better. Go figure.

Then there are my knees to consider. I'm trying to loose weight to take pressure off them, but what I was doing was causing them to hurt more and preventing me from keeping active to loose weight.

Whatever, I'm sure I'll get back on a kick sooner or later, but for now I'm on my second week of a break. My "Couch to 5 K" app keeps sending me positive messages to get me going again, but I've been ignoring them.

Now with the weather turning colder I'm even less motivated to get up early in the morning for a workout. I may have to start going to the gym! Arg!

Exercise = no talent soccer tonight
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Bagel
Cottage cheese with kiwi
2 cup tea
Apple
2 rice cakes with peanut butter and jelly
Quinoa sticks (chips)
Hershey's cookies and cream drops (see I'm not really trying any more)
McDonalds quarter pounder with fires and an unsweet iced tea
Cheese stick
Buddy fruit
Shrimp pesto pasta

Phlegm

So I had a cold a couple of weeks ago. I was sick for 3 days (around Sept. 8th). I had to go to Bismarck for Work on the 8th and just powered through my sickness for the next couple of days because I was supper busy and needed to get things done.

Something that always happens to me after I get sick is that I get a lingering cough that hangs around for weeks afterward. I also have this phlegm situation where my nose is running and I've got phlegm built up in the back of my throat. I am continually coughing up mucus and blowing my nose. I continue to ask, WHEN WILL THIS STOP?!!

This morning I took a musinex and an allergy pill and I'm still snotty. I'm just hoping things clear up before I leave on my Los Angeles trip!!

Exercise = none, but my kid ask when I was going to pick him up on the bike again, I need to get on that
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Rice cake with cream cheese
2 cup tea
Apple
L/O wild rice with garlic yogurt dip and blue cheese
Avacado
6 pieces pepperoni
L/O slice of pizza
Hershey's cookies and cream drops
Grilled chicken
Grilled yellow squash, zucchini, mushrooms, red pepper

I am a domestic goddess

I've taken to a domestic roll quite nicely I think.

I cooked up some tomato sauce from tomatoes in our garden this weekend and I've really gotten into cooking. I think I'm pretty good at it.

For example, I make this ricotta cheese topping for potatoes that is awesome. Ricotta cheese, lemon zest, Parmesan cheese, salt and pepper. It is pretty simple, I need to add some garlic to it next time, I bet that would spice it up.

Exercise = Soccer with the kids, not much
Monday, September, 21, 2015
Rice chex cereal with cashew milk
Grapefruit
L/O Pasta with yellow tomato sauce, cheese and garlic
2 cup tea
DC coffee
Chex mix
Rice cake
Hershey's cookies and cream drops (about 10)
Trail mix
Grouse k-bobs on the grill with bacon, onion, green pepper
Potatoes with ricotta cheese topping
Pea pods and mini peppers
Mint chocolate chip ice cream

Weekend breakfast

Ableskevers! I know I spelled that wrong, basically they are pancake balls.

Stuffed tomato with wild rice. 

This is what it looked like before I cut into it.

I am my father's daughter

My husband this morning was discussing the fact that the way we eat is not the way he was brought up and that I inherited my dad's pallet for more expensive foods, or rather dramatic tastes. He also said that we are passing those things to our kids. For example today I packed broccoli and pear infused white balsamic vinegar in my kid's lunch. Well, that is just how we eat around here.

I do see some of my dad's eating habits and tastes reflected in the things I choose to eat. My dad makes the best blue cheese dressing. He has always enjoyed it and is a bit of a blue cheese connoisseur. We now have some blue cheese dressing in the fridge that I made for burgers the other night. It is just sitting there waiting for me to  dip something in it or pour it on something. That is another trait of my dad's that I've inherited, overindulgence. I often witnessed my dad slathering butter on bread and over dressing a salad with blobs of dressing then if we were at a restaurant asking the server to bring more.

But still, I have learned to enjoy some quite delicious foods from my dad's tastes. Blue cheese is one of them, lobster, beer, sausage, meat, cheese, shrimp (not many vegetables). However, it is somewhat difficult to cook for my dad when he visits because he is somewhat picky and doesn't eat many vegetables besides lettuce. The last time my parents came to visit he told me, "You use spinach to enhance the flavor not as a substitute for food."  WOW!

He also made an off hand comment about not liking female authors, but that is the subject for another time.

Exercise = none
Friday, September 18, 2015
Rice cake with peanut butter
Yogurt with stevia and kiwi
2 cup tea
Iceberg lettuce with blue cheese dressing
Chex mix
Couple of almond crackers
Mint chocolate chip ice cream (I need to just not buy this stuff)

Rice cake with peanut butter 

Meatballs and pasta with yellow tomato sauce

Hard cider, 2 glass wine, Moscow mule

I am over eggs

I used to be all about eggs. I made a practice of eating a hard boiled egg every day for breakfast. But these days I just can't do it. Maybe it is the eggs I am buying or maybe I'm burnt out on them. But I am just over them. I've been craving carbs in the morning lately. That may not be a good thing, but I seem to be satisfied with that for a while.

Although, I had been searching for the best way to peel a hard boiled egg and I found a great video with several different ways to do it. 

My favorite method is using a spoon. Crack open the air space at the bottom and use the spoon to get under the shell and it comes off nicely. That crack and roll method never works for me. The egg always splits open.

Exercise = none
Thursday September 17, 2015
Rice cake with peanut butter and banana
Toast with butter
DC coffee with whip cream
L/O veggies with a few egg noodles and Swiss Cheese (this is one of my concoctions)
Trail mix
Rice cake with peanut butter
Baby Bell cheese
HM Sausage with steamed green beans with vinegar

Menstrual cups will save the world

I am relatively new to the menstrual cup world, but I LOVE it! I have the Lily Cup compact from Intimina.

 It is the best thing I have ever used for period protection. Seriously! After I had kids I couldn't use tampons any more. They didn't work. Even the largest size would leak. I have been so happy with my Lily Cup! It doesn't leak and I can leave it in all day. It is very comfortable and I often forget I have it in. That may also be a problem, because I often find it is too easy to forget I have it in.

It is a little messy, I must say. But with some practice I've gotten a system down where I can empty it out with minimal mess. I sometimes remove it in the shower, wash the blood down the drain, wash the cup, make sure there is no water in it, and reinsert it. Doing this in the shower makes it somewhat easy.

Using the cup is like using a tampon without an applicator. You do get intimate with your delicate regions, but it is worth the hand washing for this little device. I love the compact design too. The one I have collapses into a little container that is easy to carry and conceal.

Exercise = No Talent Soccer tonight for 1 hour
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Rice Chex cereal with some honey
Toast with peanut butter and honey
Rice cake with hummus
6 piece Swiss cheese
2 Trisket crackers with butter
Mixed nuts
2 pieces of cheese
Blue cheese burger with roasted potatoes with ricotta cheese topping
Mini tomatoes 

So why go to Church?

I am not a church going person. And I can't say I am a believer in God. Not that I don't think there are spiritual influences in this world, I just don't justify those influence with a belief in God. I really hate when people try to witness to me and I have gotten offended when the CEO of the organization I work for sent out a message filled with praises for a "Higher Power" that I don't subscribe to. Unprofessional in my opinion, but Human Resources didn't see it that way.

One of my friends recently posed the question, "What are you going to do in that hour on Sunday anyway?" Well, lots of things and I thought I am fortunate not to have to worry about appeasing a God that will think poorly of me for not going to Church. I'm not going to dis the beliefs of others, I'm just going to say it isn't for me.

I get mad at things that are said and done because of someone's religious beliefs, someone's interpretation of the bible and someone's ideas of what God would want. Like all this recent blow up of same sex marriage and that woman in Kentucky who refused to issue marriage licenses based on her beliefs. I refuse to believe that a God would be so unkind as to deny two people who love each other the right to be bonded. I also refuse to believe that God wouldn't be accepting of the way people are. We recently had a controversy in my town with a religious group holding a seminar on how to pray the gay away and to teach people to witness to their gay friends the power of God's love and not be gay. WTF!!!

I read this article about how secular kids are being raised to be kinder and more accepting than kids who go to church. Most of it had to do with them being accountable for their own actions and not blaming something on God or the Devil. There was also an element of, "well I can do this because I can confess and will be forgiven" so being accountable to someone else (God or the Church) permits bad behavior and unkindness because of that "forgiven" caveat.

Be a good person, be accountable to yourself, don't hurt others (physically or verbally), be kind, don't judge others, be accepting of difference. That is how I'm raising my kids whether God is in their lives or not.

Insomnia

I didn't sleep very well last night. I don't have insomnia because it isn't chronic, but I hate it when I can't sleep at night. I've always been able to sleep, it has never been a problem. I love naps! I wish our society could embrace the nap and allow for it during the day. Like preschool.

Since I was pregnant and had kids I have had bouts of sleepless nights. I'm guessing it is hormone related. I've also been getting night sweats. That is no fun.

Oh the stress

This week has been stressful and busy. I'm organized a Youth Waterfowl Hunting Clinic and I'm not sure it will be successful. Anyway, I relieved this stress by mowing down on some ice cream this morning. It was also a stressful morning at the breakfast table with the kids and my husband telling me that my choice of breakfast is what causes the dilly dallying at the table in the morning. He is always in a rush to get us all out the door in the morning and when the kids dilly dally he get frustrated. That just snowballs into a torrent of crying and high tempers.

Anyway, I've also been sick this week and resting a lot. Which means I haven't been exercising. I also skipped soccer on Wednesday night. I just couldn't manage it. Call me lazy, but I've been recovering from the sickness and feel I deserve a break. I'll get back on it on Monday. Meanwhile, party this Saturday! Octoberfest! Beer and sausage here I come!

Exercise = nothing
Friday, September 11, 2015
Cottage cheese with banana
2 cup tea
Ice cream

Food

This was dinner today.Thursday, September 10, 2015

Dairy Queen for lunch, with my kid topped off with a chocolate dip cone

Muffin cup mini pizzas for dinner, not the best thing for me but they were quick 

Breakfast!

I love breakfast food! Today I made multi-grain pancakes. Then I made a bacon and egg sandwich with those pancakes and dipped it in syrup. Top that!

Still in pain

Well, this "no talent" soccer league I'm in may just be the end of me. My husband and I are in pain. Nothing too serious, muscle aches and joint soreness. But it hurts.The Yoga I did helped a bit. But obviously not enough.

Friday, September 4, 2015
HB egg
Cheese
Kiwi
Toast with butter and peanut butter
DC coffee
Muffin - large
Plantain chips
Pretzels
Bread with goat cheese
Chocolate covered potato chip

New found pleasures

I can't say that I've ever really liked jelly beans. I remember when I was a kid the jelly beans my mom put in my easter basket. They weren't very good and I never ate them. They usually ended up in the trash.

But these days, as an adult, I've discovered I really really like Jelly Belly jelly beans. They have so many interesting flavors. I had an espresso one yesterday and was like WOW! They really captured the flavor. I can get them in bulk from Cash Wise and they are like little bursts of wonderful sweetness. I do need to pace myself though. When I first started eating them I would just eat one at a time a savor it.

But, since I realized that I really like them I've found myself mindlessly mowing them down. Like yesterday, I ate more than half my bag.

I think I may have reverted to my candy stashing ways. When I was in grad school I would stash all kinds of candy in my drawer. I didn't realize I was eating so much sugar until I started keeping a food journal. That's when I realized that I was popping candy all day. Well I just need to be aware of it right?

Exercise = Yoga this morning
Thursday September 3, 2015
HB egg
Cheese
Cottage cheese with kiwi and mini grapes
Toast with butter and HM pear jam
DC coffee
2 cup tea
Jelly beans
Bread with goat cheese
2 piece pork bacon
Triscut crackers and hummus
Oh Man this was bad! - Taco Bell - burrito, chalupa, nachos with cheese sauce, diet Pepsi, Capn' Crunch delights (these things were the grossest thing you will put in your mouth, the grease dripping off them was ridiculous, don't ever get them unless someone dares you)
Salmon, shrimp and broccoli

Ok, no processed food

Ok, I need to get a handle on my eating. Yesterday was as bad as the day before. Since the visit from my parents I have been spiraling into bad eating habits. I need to get on that spinach train again, but I just can't seem to stay on it.  Plus! And I am getting very frustrated with this, I am on week 7 of my "wake up at 5 am and exercise" routine and I haven't lost a pound! Not one! Still sitting at 210! I mean what is going on? Even without doing much to my diet (which isn't that bad in my opinion) I should have seen at least some results right? I should be loosing some fat.

I know I shouldn't be focusing too much on the weight number on the scale, but seriously, I haven't noticed any changes in my body shape either. I pants are still tight. I look at my clothes and think, I only have one pair of long pants that fit me comfortably right now. I am not ready for winter!

So I really need to focus on my diet now. I need to start eating like a kid, or how I would feed my kids. Minimal sugar, smaller portions, and no processed foods. Ok, let's go!

Exercise = none, I really wanted to get up and do yoga this morning but it didn't happen and tonight we have our first "no talent" soccer game, so that will be some exercise
Soccer! 30 minutes

Wednesday September 2, 2015
Shredded wheat cereal with mini grapes
Toast with butter and honey
Some kiwi
2 cup tea
DC coffee
Jelly beans
L/O chicken and rice
Small lemonade and iced tea
Few sips of slushy drink
Pasta with chicken and yellow tomato sauce
Banana

Eating like a kid

Ok, yesterday was bad!

I ate so many sweet things I couldn't count. Plus this morning I made an excuse when my alarm went off at 5:00 to stay in bed and not do my planed Yoga. So here I am recovering for another day.
 
Here is a philosophy...how about I only eat what I would feed my kids. Sometimes as a parent I find my self in a situation with my kids where it is "do as I say not as I do" kind of thing in the food department. Take dessert for example. We have specified dessert nights in our house, 4 nights a week the kids get dessert. However, that doesn't seem to apply to me. I will often wait until the kids go to bed then eat my dessert. I'm sneaky like that. This is what I did last night.

And snacks, I'm not too bad here, but I do have somethings that I've shoved in the back of the cupboard that are out of sight and only I know they are there. Nothing too bad, jelly beans, the occasional bag of chips or cheetos, a candy bar every once in a while.

But then I have to think about it, Why would I eat something that I wouldn't feed my kids? I want them to be healthy and not have too much sugar. I am constantly evaluating what I am feeding them to make sure they get the nutrition they need. So why would I pay so much attention to what they are eating and not do the same for myself. (I write this as I am munching on a bag of chips). 

So eating what they eat shouldn't bee too big a problem. But do I take it a step further and do the same portions? Portion size is big with them. If I started eating the portions they eat, that would be a good start at controlling the amount of food I take in. I'll admit, I am a typical American who fills her plate and cleans it (most of the time). However, I've found myself at restaurants slowing down and feeling full about half way through my meal. That can't be a bad thing can it?

Exercise = nothing
Tuesday September 1, 2015
Toast with peanut butter and honey
Cottage cheese with kiwi
Tiny grapes
DC coffee
2 cup tea
L/O stir fry with elbow macaroni
2 piece Swiss cheese
Bread with butter
Smore cookie
Jelly beans
Chips in the car
Plantain chips
Cheese stick
Ginger soda
Chipolte Chicken and rice
Ice cream with caramel syrup