Scale goes down...scale goes up

Why does it take so long for the scale to go down and such a short time for it to go up? 204 on the scale this morning and I feel the guilt settling in. I have to start all over again. I guess this is what it feels like when you try to quit smoking or drinking. I actually really felt like shit after the weekend. I was in a shitty mood come Monday afternoon and I had little patients for my kids. I know I had too much sugar (hello morning doughnut) and too many carbs. I am also wondering if gluten may be part of my problem. After I ate that pasta yesterday (granted it was whole wheat pasta) my guts were wrecked! I felt so crappy. Then I took a big loose crap and still felt queasy the rest of the day. I have had similar experiences when I eat pancakes or waffles and just recently put 2 and 2 together. Arg! I LOVE pancakes and waffles!

When I went grocery shopping last night I grabbed a bag of these guacamole chips (there were whole grains in there so maybe they were all bad), but I ate the whole bag, I think it was like 16 ounces. I also impulse grabbed yogurt covered raisins, which always give me heartburn, but for some reason I couldn't stop. I only ate a handful before I realized what I was doing.

So today I realized I need to start over. Looking back at last week I am remembering something that may be significant. I had been having that gnawing feeling in my gut, somewhat like hunger, but a little different. I was attributing it to my sugar addiction being broken. I had skipped lunch one day, then I realized that the gnawing feeling in my gut wasn't bothering me anymore. It was like I got used to it. I think I need to get past the ignoring the gnaw stage and move to where it isn't there anymore. I seem to remember a time when my stomach felt normal and I didn't always crave sugar. That was of course before kids.

I am going to exercise tonight at the pool.

January 21, 2015
4 mini egg cups
2 piece turkey bacon
1/2 grapefruit
DC Coffee
2 cup peppermint tea
4 blue cheese stuffed olives (I am convinced that this is the most amazing food ever created!)
Celery and yogurt pesto dip
Sugar snap pea pods
Mini peppers
Meatball (This is the best meatball recipe I have ever tasted. This is a staple in our house, I'll share it some time)
So far so good for today

DC Americano 

Sip of kids hot chocolate 

Chicken vegetable soup (home made)

Few bites of parmasean cheese rind (I used this to season my soup and it was soggy, chewy, and delicious, like parmasean cheese gum)

Pork cutlet maranated in orange juice 

Green bean, black bean, chick pea salad with balsamic vinegar and olive oil dressing 

Swimming workout- 1200 meters for 45 minutes