Ok, I'm back

After a little hiatus I realize I need to stick with this. My weekend of partying at the Motley Crue concert left me in a lazy mood and no motivation to eat right or record anything. I've also gotten pretty busy with work so I don't have a lot of spare time to dedicate to this blog.

Anyway, here we go again. I have started an exercise plan that I hope I can stick to. I love swimming! I was born to do it. It relaxes me and I just feel soothed when I am stroking through the water. So, the local high school pool is open on Wednesday nights for open swimming. Lap swimming! No one else in the pool messing around and playing like at the YMCA. And there are like 10 lanes open! It is also an awesome competition pool. I had trouble getting motivated to use the YMCA pool when we were members for a few reasons. First, the pool isn't that great. There are only 2 lap swimming lanes, the water is too warm for work out swimming and there are always kids in the pool splashing and coming into the lap lanes. And the lifeguards do nothing to stop this.

So I discovered that the high school pool is open from 7:00-8:30 on Wednesday evenings. I worked out with the husband that I would take this evening to do something for myself and go work out. Last night was my first time and it was GREAT! Despite the fact it is a late night work out, I am happy with everything else about the workout space. I did feel like I had no endurance and I felt weak at some points. I could hardly complete a 200 meter swim (8 laps) without needing a break. But I am accepting of this fact because I haven't had a decent workout schedule since Alice was born. I did roller derby after Miles, but I can't say that was a total body workout or anything.

I am hoping that this first step leads me to other workout initiatives. That way I will at least have a chance at loosing some weight and get below 200 and fit into my size 14s.

Weight yesterday, 205 pounds
Breakfast: oatmeal with ground flax seed, pumpkin and banana
Hard boiled egg, 1 piece turkey bacon
Multi grain wheat thins and butter
Nuts and crackers
Chicken, cheese stick, pea pods, crackers
6 Hershey kisses

Pop corn

Cheese stick

Sweet potato, sausage, kale soup

4 vodka shots

Kisses

I guess I'm not eating lunch

Well, it looks like from review of my eating log that I am not eating a good lunch. Have I wrote about this before? I must have. I guess it is a time perception. I am usually working right up until 12:30 and don't take a break to make lunch for myself. I leave to pick up the kids shortly after 12:30, and then they are with me the rest of the day. They have already had their lunch and I am typically just having a snack with them in the afternoon. So there is no solid meal, just snacks.

Or maybe I am eating lunch too early. I get pretty hungry around 10:30/11:00 in the morning and usually dive into a heavy snack. So when 2:00 rolls around I am ready for another meal but usually end up snacking. I'm not sure what all this means exactly but it is something to be said. 

Snacks...I do love snacks. I love having nuts as snacks. Mostly almonds, but I've recently bought pecans and walnuts and really like them too. I do have my share of crackers and pretzels. I know not to keep certain things in the house or they will cause bad things to happen. No chips, Cheetos, or Oreo cookies, I just start eating those things and can't stop. I try and make good choices with a cheese stick, mini peppers, celery, pea pods (although no more cheese for me right now).

Weight today 205 pounds.
November 13, 2014
Breakfast: Oatmeal with ground flax seed, honey, soy milk
2 cup tea
Decaf coffee with half and half
4 blue cheese stuffed olives
Mix: Black beans, roasted cauliflower, mini peppers, pea pods, 2 veggie dogs, mushrooms with balsamic vinegar and olive oil, salt and pepper

My stomach is all bubbly and I feel weird. Did I eat too many vegetables? Is that possible?
M&Ms (melted in the microwave, you should try this, they are delicious this way)
Dinner: Irish stout stew with meat, peas, potatoes, egg noodles, onion
Grapes 

I always wondered, what's the deal with soda?

You know all those research studies people quote that says drinking soda leads to obesity? What does that really mean? They usually simply say "soda". Not diet soda, or carbonated water, low sugar soda, or soda with alcohol (heehee, I know that's wrong). It is simply "soda". And I always question what other characteristics a "regular soda drinker" has that contributes to obesity.

I love Diet Coke! I used to drink more of it than I do now. But I still really enjoy it when I have it. I always thought I was exempt from those studies because I was drinking a "diet" soda (you know, no calories and all). But I do know (NOW) that artificial sweeteners are not good for you either. Growing up we always had diet soda and regular soda in the house. My favorite was diet cherry 7up. Oh I can taste it now, that stuff is great. I don't really see it around any more. My brother was a Dr. Pepper fan. Plus we drank Kool-Aid all the time (the full sugar stuff). So what ever damage aspartame has done to me, I'm sure I'm going to be feeling it in my late 30s.

As for now, I have cut out artificial sweeteners. That is except for the occasional Diet Coke and I do like hot chocolate and usually buy the sugar free stuff to cut on calories. I have Stevia in my cupboard but I cut that out too because I'm not sure how good or bad that is for you. I am now drinking my coffee without sweetener, which was an easier transition than I thought.  

No weight today.

November 12, 2014
Breakfast: Oatmeal with honey, ground flax seed, and soy milk
Cinnamon bread with butter
Decaf coffee
2 cup tea
Hard boiled egg
2 piece turkey bacon
3 olives stuffed with blue cheese
Pea pods (I have these sitting on my desk and munching on them, they are a smart snack choice, right?)
2 wild pheasant fingers
2 sweet potato chips
Grapes
Decaf Americano with half and half 

Goldfish crackers

2 pretzel rods
Pea pods

Stuffed peppers - couscous, onion, canillini beans, in slow cooker

Glass red wine

5 second rule

You know the 5 second rule, right? And those Mythbusters and College students who said anything that drops on the floor picks up bacteria and can make you sick. Well, I often wonder how truthful the implications of that are. When you drop something it only picks up some bacteria. In those experiments the people grow the bacteria that is picked up in controlled environments in Petri dishes to expose what is there. Sure there are lots of little nasties that multiply under those conditions. But it only started out as one or two spores or one lonesome bacteria cell.

So my question is, is the actual amount of bacteria that the food does pick up enough to make you sick? I mean, when the food hits your stomach, your stomach acids go to work on it and isn't that their job, to kill bad stuff that could make you sick? If you eat the food right away, wouldn't the bacteria load on the food be manageable for your body to combat?

I bring this up because I am constantly picking stuff up off the floor that my kids drop. I don't usually feed them the food, unless it is a fruit snack or something that doesn't pick up too much dog hair. But they constantly drop sippy cups and utensils that I usually just wipe off and give back to them. Then I think, would I have done that for myself? Or would I have gotten a new fork?

No weight today.
November 11, 2014
Breakfast: Oatmeal  with ground flax seed, honey, soy milk
Left over cereal that my kid didn't eat (with whole milk, eeeeeeeek!)
2 piece turkey bacon
Hard boiled egg
Decaf coffee
2 cup tea
Refried black beans
Spinach and radicchio salad with mini peppers, pea pods, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and salt

M&Ms

Chocolate chip cookie

2 pretzel rods

Goldfish crackers

Pea pods 

Dinner: Salmon cooked in pan with seasoning 

Roasted cauliflower with olive oil and spices

M&Ms

What they told me about the bleeding

Cyst on my left ovary. That is what was causing all my excessive vaginal bleeding. I am scheduled for another ultrasound in 6 weeks to look at it again. My nurse practitioner called it a "large cyst" which I don't exactly know what "large" is in relative terms.

Weight today 205 pounds.

November 10, 2014
Breakfast: Oatmeal with honey, ground flax seed, Greek yogurt
Cinnamon bread with butter
Hard boiled egg
Chicken noodle soup with added noodles
Scooby snacks

Black beans and whole grain noodles

1/4 of a cheese stick

My guts are bubbly and I am having the worst smelling gas. I don't know if it because of the pasta or the little bit of cheese I had. I need to pay more attention. I can't figure out what to eliminate if I don't truly eliminate it.

Grapes

2 veggie dogs

2 piece turkey bacon

3 mini peppers

M&Ms
Glass red wine

This is what happens on the weekends

So on the weekends I am not sitting in front of the computer all morning like I am on the weekdays. I am with the kids and the husband and we are doing stuff. Fun family stuff and we are eating in between activities and naps. I do however usually have my iPod touch handy and so I will start posting what I am eating throughout the day on that. My posts will be shorter, not much monolog, and I will probably just include my eat list. No words of wisdom since the iPod is harder to type on. But easier to post pictures with, so there is the trade off. There probably won't be any weights on the weekends either since the mornings are either get up and go or stay in bed and snuggle until we get hungry for breakfast.

On the weekends I am also waiting until the end of the day to report all my eating for the day. So likely I will forget what I have eaten. So there is a challenge there.

November 9, 2014
Oatmeal with soy milk, ground flax seed, honey
Cinnamon bread
Gold fish crackers
Left over pork and sweet potatoes
Veggies and ranch dip
2 veggie hotdogs with veggie cheese
Left over red beans and rice
Pasta noodles with butter, salt and Parmesan cheese
2 glass red wine
Baked pears with cream cheese, ginger cookie and redi whip

Can one eat the same breakfast for the rest of one's life?

I like breakfast food. I really do. I love waffles and pancakes and muffins and eggs (cooked any way except scrambled) and English muffins and bacon (turkey or pork) and fruit compote for the pancakes and oatmeal and....well everything they serve on the brunch buffet at "The Grill" our local eatery. I like cereal too, but I have to eat it with soy milk (or non-dairy milk).

So why is it I find myself eating the same breakfast over and over? I guess because it is just easier that way.

November 8, 2014

Breakfast: 2 fried eggs with veggie cheese, 2 piece turkey bacon, leftover popover from last night

Orange juice

2 cup tea

I made oatmeal but didn't eat it

Taco Bell boritto, chips and cheese sauce (I know this is bad! Don't judge)

2 pretzel rods

5 blue cheese stuffed olives

Veggies - celery, carrots, pea pods
Pita chips

Leftover chicke thigh and tomatoes and onion

Sweet potatoes

Broccoli and balsamic vinegar and olive oil

2 handful chocolate chips

2 shots flavored vodka

Coctail with 2 shots flavored vodka

Pop corn with flavor salt and parmasean  cheese

Yesterday was bad...very bad

Yesterday was bad! I know this! Sometimes that hungry caterpillar comes out and I can't stop. I just need to make better choices than I did yesterday. I am still sick today, the mucus is coagulating and coming out my nose and mouth when I cough it up. So that is a good thing, right? I think I am on the down slope of this cold and hopefully it will be gone by Sunday.

One thing that I've noticed lately is that I am getting hungry at night. After the kids are in bed and I'm relaxing on the couch. That used to never happen. I typically have satisfying dinners and am good until the morning. What is my body trying to tell me? Maybe I should just try drinking more water. Can I drink any more?

So today is a new day and I will work on making better choices. I've taken an inventory of the refrigerator and know that I can go there for broccoli, red pepper, pea pods, grapes, pears, leftover chicken and pork for lunch, spinach salad. I'll work on staying away from the cupboard and the Scobby snacks, Halloween candy (most of the good stuff is gone now anyway), and crackers (because when the crackers come out so does the butter).

I am working through this. This record of what I am eating is working...somewhat. I just have to learn from it.

No weight today and that is probably a good thing.
November 7, 2014
Breakfast: Oatmeal with pear jam, ground flax seed, soy milk and light honey
Hard boiled egg
2 piece turkey bacon
Decaf coffee with half and half
2 cup tea
Grapes
Veggie cheese
Leftover fajita meat with onion and pepper
Leftover green beans and brussel sprouts with balsamic vinegar
More grapes (I have them sitting on the table and am grabbing one each time I feel the urge to get up and eat something, it is working to keep me at bay so far).
5 blue cheese stuffed olives
Sugar snap pea pods
Left over chicken thigh with tomatoes and onion

- My stomach is bubbly now, not sure why I don't think I ate anything bad that would cause that.
-  Also now I am craving something sweet to counter act my lunch, I just feel like I need something to top it off, I'll drink some water and tea and maybe that will help.
Celery

Pretzel rod
Red beans and rice with pop over

Fun size 3 musketeers 

4 shots flavored alachol 

2 shot cocktail 

Still a little sick today

Well, I woke up with snot in my nose and a sore throat and cough. So I'm still sick today, but I am at work and will hopefully recover. Orange juice always makes me feel better when I'm sick. I don't know if it is a left over from when I was a kid or the magical powers of the orange, but it just feels good to drink with a clogged nose and hacking cough.

No weight today. I've also thought about some motivation. My husband and I are going to Mexico in February. We will be in swim suits 80% of the time we are there. So that is some motivation to move on loosing some pounds. Although it will be tough with the holidays coming up. But let's see how it goes.

November 6, 2014
Breakfast: Oatmeal with ground flax seed, soy milk, honey
2 turkey bacon
almonds
6 ginger cookies
2 cup tea
1 glass orange juice
Decaf coffee with half and half
Triscuits
Tootsie Roll (long skinny one)
2 Fun size 3 Musketeers
3 pieces of Halloween candy (does it really matter what it was?)
Sugar free hot chocolate with whip cream on top
Chicken, rice and vegetable soup
Pita chips
Left over chicken thigh with tomatoes and onion
Chocolate chips
WHY DO I HAVE SO MUCH GAS?! 

Dinner: pork loin roasted with pear, onion, and garlic

Roasted sweet potatoes

3 shots flavored alcahol 

Soda water with cherry vodka 

Bread with peanut butter and light honey

Scooby snacks

Sick and mad

Today is the day after the election and the measure I have poured my heart into didn't pass. I just have to say that fighting for conservation is hard. I am passionate about it and I get hurt when things fall on the other side. So today I am fighting depression and anger, plus I am also sick. I have a cough, sore throat and runny nose.
No further post today. I am going to try and rest and recuperate.

Election day...I stress eat

Something I have learned about myself over the years is that I eat for comfort. I eat when I'm stressed, I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm not even hungry. It's just...well, how I am. I'm not saying it's healthy, I'm just saying. The challenge is to make the right choices when I do eat.

Today is election day and there is a measure on the ballot (Measure 5) that I am really passionate about and I want it to pass. So today might be a bad day for eating for me. It is a measure to support conservation in North Dakota and it is necessary to keep our outdoors, water and communities healthy. So, until the polls close and we know the results, I may be on edge and putting things in my mouth that aren't necessarily the best. Or I may just over eat. At least I am aware of it right?

So I will stay away from my triggers, which shouldn't be too hard since I don't have any in the house. Oh wait, there is that Halloween candy and I did get some fun size 3 Musketeers bars half off at the store last night. I'm in trouble.

No weight this morning.
November 4, 2014
Breakfast: Oatmeal with ground flax seed, soy milk, and honey
Decaf Americano no cream or sweetener (from coffee house)
Part of an oatmeal raisin cookie that I shared with kid
2 cup tea
Triscuits and humus
Bowl of mashed potatoes
Pita chips
3 fun size 3 Musketeers
Dinner: Chicken and pasta with pesto sauce with roasted yellow squash, fennel, and broccoli
Baked pear 1/2 with cream cheese and ginger cookie

Went to Democratic post election party and ate lots of junk
8 meatballs with some sort of cheese substance on them
6 slices of sausage in bbq sauce
potato chips and onion dip
olives
cake with too much frosting

Sometimes I feel like the Very Hungry Caterpillar

Well another weekend fail at keeping records. I may have to concede to writing this blog during the week and manually writing down what I eat through out the day on the weekends. I love spending time with the kids and keeping active on the weekends. So, that may just have to suffice then update on Monday or something. 

This morning I am back to 204 pounds. Sometimes when I eat it just isn't enough. I want more and can't seem to stop myself. I don't know where this mentality comes from. Sometimes I look for stuff I can just pig out on. I've tried to work on switching my thought process and choose better things to gorge on like sugar snap peas and mini peppers. Veggies that are good for me and won't cause too much havoc on my body should I over indulge. I do know my triggers and try not to have them in the house. Carmel popcorn, Oreo cookies are just a couple of my over eating triggers.Pasta, I've already discussed my butter addiction, I'm sure there are more I am forgetting, but they are mostly sweets. Oh, Raisinettes are one too.

November 3, 2014
Breakfast: Oatmeal with honey, ground flax seed, and soy milk
1.5 piece turkey bacon
Hard boiled egg
Cheeze-its
2 piece toast and butter
Hot chocolate sugar free with whip cream
Decaf coffee with cream
2 cup tea
Fun size twix, snickers
Noodles with left over pot roast veggies and gravy
Sugar snap pea pods
Snack on noodles with the kids
more pea pods
Dinner: pan fried salmon with seasoning, mushroom tartlets with puff pastry, spinach, and feta
1 glass red wine

Happy Halloween!

I'm not even going to try and restrain myself today. It's Halloween and I know I will be eating lots of candy and probably be getting wasted tonight. So there. I LOVE Halloween! I love getting into costume and having parties. We haven't had an adult party in a few years since we have had kids. I've said I am going to focus my energy on having kid parties, but I think I might weight until they get a little older.

No weight today.

October 31, 2014
Breakfast: 2 turkey bacon, oatmeal with ground flax seed, honey, soymilk
Red pear
Almonds
2 piece veggie cheese, 2 piece veggie bologna
6 blue cheese stuffed olives
Celery with peanut butter
Pot roast with egg noodles
Several pieces of Halloween candy
Lots of drinking
4 shots
2 mix drinks
2 more shots
Hung over the next day