Sleep is a precious thing

Sleep is a precious thing. Don't take it for granted. I used to never have trouble sleeping. I have always been an early to bed, early to rise person. I would go to sleep overs when I was young and be the first one up in the morning. I'd usually help myself to cereal and be watching cartoons before the parents even woke up.  I love taking naps, I wish we had siesta time here in the states. I would really benefit from that.

So now as I am older, I am wishing for the days when sleep came easier. Some nights my mind races and I can't sleep. The other night I woke up at 3:30 am and just laid there waiting for sleep to come back to me, and it never did. After I had my kids, I am constantly waking up to go pee in the middle of the night. Sometimes 2 or 3 times. This is really annoying, but it might also have something to do with my water consumption. I always have my water jug by my bed and can't go to bed with out it there.

Last night it was my kid that woke me up. She is 18 months now and has been sleeping through the night for a while. Some nights she will wake up, scream once or twice then go back to sleep. Last night she just started crying and wouldn't stop. I don't get it! She didn't have a dirty diaper, she didn't have a fever, I couldn't find any reason for it. My husband finally got up and brought her to bed with us. Well that got her to quite down, but now we had a squirmy kid in our bed. Not necessarily the best sleeping conditions. 

Needless to say I am tired today and hope I can function.
No weight today

October 30, 2014
Breakfast: Oatmeal with ground flax seed, soy milk, honey
One piece turkey bacon (my kid ate the other one)
Hard boiled egg
Decaf Americano from coffee house
2 cup tea (Mother's milk and raspberry leaf)
3 pretzels
small handful almonds (roasted and salted) and pecans
2 piece toast with butter and peanut butter (we eat natural peanut butter in our house, 2 ingredients peanuts and salt)
Egg salad
mini pepper
pea pods 

3 pretzels

Dinner: brat with bun, spicy mustard, relish

Roasted broccoli and green beans, mini pepper

3 candy corns and chocolate eyeball at kid Halloween party

Out with friends - beer 16 oz., cheesey potato wedges (there was a good bit of cheese on these), and French fries with katchup

Reeces peanut butter cup

I'm a water adict

I drink water. I drink a lot of water. I realized how much more water I drink than other people when I went on a road trip with some friends. I was the one who always had to stop to pee and when ever we did I came back with a liter of water to fill myself up again. I drink at least 2 32 ounce water jugs a day. I also have 2 cups of tea and a decaf coffee (usually). If I am busy on the weekends sometimes I get dehydrated and I feel it. I get cranky and a headache. I think my body is just used to my current water intake. I always have a water near by. In the car I make sure I have several stashed water bottles so I can drink (water not alcohol) while I'm driving.

It may have something to do with the fact that I am lactating (I am breastfeeding my youngest). But I drank a lot of water before I had my kids too. Maybe not as much as I do now, but a lot. I read a while ago that sometimes people confuse thirst with hunger. I'm not sure that is my problem. I think I started being conscious about hydration when I was in undergrad at University of Florida. I had this roommate who was also obsessed with water and she was always telling me to drink more. Over all I don't think this is a bad thing. It just makes me have to pee a lot.

I think I did overdose on water once. I had to take a drug test for a job I was applying for and I did one of those detox kits where you make a tea and you have to drink a gallon of it in a short amount of time. Then right before the test you take these vitamins that make your pee yellow so as not to raise suspicion. Maybe it was 2 gallons. I don't remember exactly. I took the test and was fine but later that night I went out with a friend to a bar and had one drink. I started shaking then fainted right in the middle of the bar. It was embarrassing because I was acting like I was wasted but I wasn't. Looking back I think my electrolytes were out of balance. I passed the test and got the job by the way.

October 29, 2014
Breakfast: oatmeal with soy milk, ground flax seed, and honey
1/2 piece turkey bacon (the kids ate the rest)
White rice with olive oil, salt, oregano
Veggie cheese and veggie bologna wrapped together
Decaf coffee with whip cream

Pretzels

Fun size Snickers candy bar

Spinich salad with blue cheese stuffed olives, pea pods, balsamic vinegar, olive oil

Tuna salad - mayo, relish, mustard

Fun size twix, fun size hurshey bar

Wild duck fajitas (2) (made by the husband!)

Fun size M&M

3 shots flavored vodka

Cherry infused vodka and soda

To truly cut out dairy

To truly cut out dairy from my diet there are a few cheats I need to get rid of. BUTTER! Is the number one culprit. I think I have my Dad's love of butter. He basically uses bread as a vector for butter. He smothers it on thick. I don't know if it is my personal taste or my up bringing (I used to watch him take big pats of butter and smear it on a small piece of bread and eat it all in one bite), but I find myself doing the same thing.

Next is the cream in my coffee. This one will be hard, and I'm not sure I will do it, or it may just be the very last thing to go. The cheese part has been hard, but I have done it for the most part. But yesterday I caught myself eating a piece as I was cutting some up for the kids. And it was GOOOD! Anyway, stop dreaming about cheese. I have thought that gluten maybe a problem for me too. That would be really hard. However, I have unknowingly done it before when I did the South Beach Diet. That diet is basically vegetables and meat, no carbs. Although they let you eat dairy, cheese, ricotta cheese, cottage cheese and yogurt is a big part of that diet ethos.

Each day is a new day to discover something new and make a fresh start. What will I work on today? No sugar. That is extremely hard this time of year because of all the Halloween candy in the house.

October 28, 2014
Today I weighed 202 pounds. Staying somewhat consistent. I guess that's good. 
Breakfast: Oatmeal with ground flax seed, honey, and soy milk
Hard boiled egg, 2 piece turkey bacon
Decaf coffee with cream (no sweetener)

Cheetos puffs (the rest of the bag from last night)
I am involved in promoting a very significant measure on the November ballot in North Dakota. If passed it will have significant impacts on conservation in the state. An issue I am very passionate about! I have had to stop reading and listening to all the opposition because it is causing me heartburn and to loose sleep. However, today a radio station had an opponent on (as well as a proponent) and listening to the opponent guy stressed me out. So I needed those Cheetos! (more on my stress eating later)

2 cups tea (mother's milk and raspberry leaf)
pumpkin seeds
black olives 
Veggie dog with a little ketchup (these things really taste bad, they need a little condiment)
Mini red and yellow peppers 6
2 fun size 3 musketeer bars 

2 piece veggie bologna

2 piece veggie cheese

Sugar snap peas in pod

Cheez-its (some with butter, I know I am sick)

Toast with butter

2 fun size Kit Kat

My gut feels gross! I need to remember this feeling. The fact that eating butter and candy bars has made me feel like shit! Ok here is the wake up. I have indigestion, heartburn bubbling up. That reminds me I didn't take my prescriptions today.

Dinner: spegetti and meatballs (homemade with Spinich), pasta sauce (homemade)

Red wine

One muffin left

Well, there is one of those Perkin's muffins left and I think I'll eat it today! I didn't weigh myself this morning. I honestly forgot. Mornings are a busy time with getting ready for the day and getting 2 kids ready and out the door. We all sit down to breakfast together. I like doing this. It is our family time. We have dinners together too, but this morning time is free of the stress from the day. Everyone is refreshed and for the most part happy.

October 27, 2014
Breakfast: Oatmeal with soy milk, raisins, ground flax seed, and honey
2 piece turkey bacon
Hard boiled egg
Pumpkin seeds (we carved pumpkins and I roasted the seeds, I hope these aren't bad for you because I am mowing them down)
Carrot Perkin's muffin (it's got carrots in it so it is healthy right?)

My guts started to rumble by noon. I think I ate too many pumpkin seeds.

Fun size 3 Muskateers bar

Raisins 

Spinich salad with cucumber, blue cheese stuffed olives, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper (I felt good about this choice because I consciously chose not to have a piece of bread smothered in butter)

Leftovers for dinner

Beans with ham over white rice

1/4 of a 1/4 pound hamburger 

Halloween cookie

Cheetos puffs (this was a poor choice I know! I was grocery shopping and wanted a snack, I guess I started to get hungry again after dinner and it was easy to just pick up a bag of chips)

It's the weekend and you know what that means

Well, it is the weekend and the husband is out of town hunting. That means I am alone with the kids and chaos is the rule. I don't have any structure and that means no eating structure either. I missed posting and recording what I ate because, well, it is just hard to get time to type while kids are demanding your attention. 

We started out picking up our Bountiful Basket which had all kinds good veggies and fruit for the week. I'm not shy about trying new things so what ever surprises we get I'm happy to experiment with. I told the kids we would go to Perkins afterward to get pancakes. Well, there was a long wait, so we ended up at Old McDonald's (as my 3 year old put it). But not before we bought some Perkin's muffins.

These should be illegal! They are huge! Who ever labeled muffins as a breakfast food was out of their mind. These are mini cakes in my opinion.

So that is how my Saturday started off. With a McDonald's egg Mcmuffin, hash brown and a cold decaf coffee. Oh and don't ask them to change the channel on the TV at the McDonald's in Jamestown, even if it is playing a highly inappropriate horror movie with gory blood and zombies. Because all they will tell you to do is move where you can see the one playing cartoons. Yah thanks, I'm going to pick up all my food and move my 1.5 and 3 year old to a different table. Cause that is a really easy thing to do.

So I think I am going to have to think of a different system to get this blog done on the weekends. I just don't have the sit down time in front of the computer like I do during the week.
Here is the overview of all the bad things I ate over the weekend:
Muffins, like 3 of them
McDonald's breakfast
Oh...I did have a spinich salad for lunch.
leftovers for dinner
Pumpkin seeds (because we carved pumpkins for Halloween this weekend)
We had Lasagna at a friends house on Sunday night (it was cheesy delicious, but gave me my dose of dairy for the week)
Garlic bread
I had a few shots and a mixed drink on Saturday night

So, I'll devise something to keep better track on the weekends. I may have to just write it down in a note book then transcribe it in the evenings when the kids are asleep.

I think I need a new scale, Plus a visit to the clinic

I think I need a new more reliable scale. Either that or not weigh myself every day (that is probably an unhealthy practice anyway). Today I weighed 203 pounds when I put the scale in the bathroom. As an experiment I moved the scale to the hallway and there I weighed 199. I went to the clinic yesterday and weighed 202 with my clothes and shoes on. What is going on?

I went to the walk-in clinic yesterday to talk to someone about the vaginal bleeding I've been having since last Wednesday. It has tapered off a bit and I think it might stop today, but we will see. Anyway I saw a nurse practitioner (I really like nurse practitioners) and she poked at my belly and we talked about what has been going on with my birth control regimen. She couldn't find anything obvious on the outside, so she ordered blood work and an ultrasound of my abdomen.She wanted to check my thyroid levels and is hoping the ultrasound will give some clue. The blood test results came back, I can check them in my MySanford Chart (an electronic record keeping thing they have to help you keep track of your health records). I don't really know what the blood test results mean, but it looks like everything they tested for is within the "normal" ranges specified. I'll have to let a professional tell me what they all mean. I am waiting for the office to call me about scheduling an appointment for the ultrasound. More to come.

October 24, 2014
Breakfast: oatmeal with ground flax seed, soy milk and honey. 2 piece lower-sodium turkey bacon
Grilled chicken drumstick (I cooked these last night to have for dinner tonight)
Decaf coffee with whip cream (I do this every once in a while, because...why not)

Hard boiled egg
8 triscuit crackers
(left overs) Rigatoni with pumpkin, onion, red pepper and goat cheese
2 cup tea, mother's milk and raspberry leaf
11:30 - heartburn (I haven't taken my prescription yet, I'll write about my heartburn experience in another post)
1/2 oatmeal raisin cookie
Chicken Drumstick 

Popcorn with olive oil, salt and garlic powder

2 fun size 3 Muskateers bar

Dinner out! Steak with cream lobster sauce, potatoes, veggies 

Stella beer

3 shots candy bar vodka

2 3 Muskateers fun size bar

Hursey fun size 

Reese's PB cup

What I've realized on Day 4

I haven't been eating a decent lunch at a decent time. It seems like I am just snacking all day. I realized yesterday after the kids were home and the youngest was down for a nap that I hadn't eaten lunch. It was around 3:00 and I actually started shaking because my blood sugar was low. So how about that, I'm learning something. I think it has to do with my schedule. I work part-time from 8:30 to 12:45. Then I go pick up the kids from daycare. This may be my problem. I sit at my desk all morning and grab snacks to sustain myself. But once the kids come home I don't have time to fix something decent. I should probably be taking a break from work and fix something substantial.

This morning I weighed 202 pounds. That is consistent with yesterday and less puzzling than be big swing of the last 3 days. Maybe me and my scale have worked things out.

October 23, 2014
Breakfast: Egg, 2 lower sodium turkey bacon, oatmeal with ground flax seed, soy milk and honey
2 cup tea - Raspberry leaf and mother's milk tea
Decaf coffee with splash of cream
leftovers from last night (rigatoni with pumpkin), added black beans and olive oil
bread with butter (canola oil/butter mix spread)

2 3 Muskateers fun size candy

7 layer boritto and nachos with cheese sauce from Taco Bell (I know this is bad)

Dinner: beef and barley stew

Halloween cookie

Fun size M&M

Pumpkin seeds

Caramel corn

Weight loss is a hoax!

This morning I weighed 202 pounds. I am curious on how this fluctuates so much day by day. That was a naked out of the shower weight. Maybe I washed off 2 pounds of dirt from yesterday morning. I think I'll start keeping a record of this in a spreadsheet so I can graph it and get an average over time. Science!

I caught part of a story on NPR this morning about weight loss supplements and how the professional they were talking to said none are safe for sustained weight loss. (The story is short and worth a listen) I've known that for years. Anyone selling you a quick fix to loose weight is just making money off of you and preying on your vulnerabilities and insecurities. I have always been skeptical about weight loss supplements and never believed the claims. I know exercise and a healthy diet are the tried and true ways to loose weight and keep it off. Calorie counting is important too, but I have never been good at that. Do I put these things to practice? Well no, not always. But I know this, I'm not deluding myself. I try and eat as healthy as I can, but I do have my weaknesses and I certainly don't exercise as much as I should. I could throw out a bunch of excuses, but I won't. I don't really have patience for excuses mine or anyone else's. 

Anyway, today started off with an early start out the door to daycare. So I went to get a coffee and hot chocolate for the kid. I got a cookie for the other kid so she wouldn't feel left out. She is a little young to have a drink in the car. I am caffeine free! I have been for several years now (I do have the occasional diet Coke, another one of my weaknesses but I'll elaborate on that at another time). So I got a decaf Americano with nothing added, black. I have also stopped adding artificial sweeteners to my food and drink (except the diet Coke thing). And I have surprised myself that I actually like unsweetened coffee. Who knew?

Breakfast: 2 piece lower-sodium turkey bacon, hard boiled egg, oatmeal with ground flax seed and honey, decaf coffee house Americano.
Carmel popcorn in the car on way back from dropping kids off at daycare (I know, I bought this the other night when I went grocery shopping and left it in the car, I should just throw it away, but I won't, I love caramel popcorn corn).
10:45: 2 piece of bread with butter
5 triscuit crackers with butter (arg I know this is bad but I can't help myself)
4 more crackers plain
2 cup mother's milk tea
More caramel corn in car going to get the kids

Spinach and black bean salad with feta and olive oil and vinegar dressing

Pita chips

Pecans
Rigatoni with goat cheese, roasted pumpkin, onion, red pepper, sage. 

6 fun size 3 Muskateers candy bars

Malbec wine, 4 glasses, 1 shot candy bar vodka

What will today hold? More bleeding

My cramps seem to be worse today and I don't have much of an appetite. But for some reason I still eat when this happens. I am still bleeding at a constant rate. I am going to try the walk-in clinic on Thursday. We'll see what they say. I can't get an appointment with my regular doctor until December! I'm not going to turn this into a commentary on our health care system. I just fear that if I see someone different I'm not going to get the informed care that I need.

Anyway, this morning I weighed 204 pounds. That is a naked weight but I didn't take a shower this morning. How I gained 6 pounds in a day I can't tell you (could it be all the dirt I accumulated in a day and didn't shower off?). I think I'll blame the scale on this one.

October 21, 2014
Breakfast: 2 piece low-sodium turkey bacon, hard boiled egg, oatmeal with ground flax seed and honey.
I also dink 2 cups of tea a day. A "Mother's Milk" tea because I am still nursing my youngest and a raspberry leaf tea that is supposed to be good for my lady parts.

Decaf coffee with cream
3 piece veggie bologna and 2 piece veggie cheese (this stuff really doesn't taste that great)
Pita chips and hummus 
4 mini peppers
More Triscuits

2 fun size 3 Muskateer candy bars (Halloween candy, another weakness of mine)

2 small handful almonds

8 large olives

Some pita chips

Dinner: snack on 5 triscuits while cooking

Half butterfly pork chop, marinated in olive brine, salt and pepper, pan sauté, roasted broccoli olive oil and salt and pepper, with vinegar condiment. 

Glass of red wine

Walnut, chocolate chips, marshmallows for dessert

In the beginning...I might regreat this.

This is not a weight loss blog, this is not a health blog. This is simply a blog to record what I am putting into my body and how it is making me feel. This is a personal experiment. I am going to reveal some things about myself. I am not sure exactly what the goals are right now, but I do I want to feel better physically and correct some of the health issues I am having. So don't read this if you don't want to know about vaginal bleeding, bloating, health issues related to women and our anatomy and related emotions, heartburn, gastrointestinal issues, poop, vomit and other bodily functions that gross you out. I am hoping by recording what I am eating on a public forum I will be able to stay true to myself and true to eating habits that I know will benefit me in the long run.

I am basically going to record what I am eating. Our family makes up a weekly menu of dinners so that is easy to manage. But what else I eat throughout the day is a little different. I do most of the cooking in the house and in my opinion I eat a rather healthy and well rounded diet. But that may just be my perspective. My weaknesses are sugar (I have a tremendous sweet tooth), butter, carbohydrates, cheese, chocolate (sweet tooth) and alcohol. Alcoholism runs in my family and I often wonder if my alcohol consumption is a problem or not.

I have recently cut out dairy from my diet. I developed an intolerance in my early 20s. I was dairy free for a few years, but then discovered that I could eat cheese. Then it was just a matter of time before I started eating ice cream and everything else dairy. However, I don't drink cow milk. When I do I get stomach cramps, loose poop, and a general feeling of discomfort. As a result of my recent weight gain and general feeling of poor health, I have decided to cut out dairy again. The no cheese thing is very difficult. I've also wanted to eat yogurt (which never gave me a problem before) because of its touted health benefits, but I'm not really a yogurt person anyway.

So please, feel free to comment if you have positive input or if you see holes in what I am eating that may be contributing to my overall health.
Thank you. Jen

Today, October 20, 2014 -
Today I weigh 198 pounds (according to my crappy scale). That is a morning right out of the shower naked weight. I like weighing myself then, because I've read that morning is the time when you weigh the least. I feel bloated and have been bleeding since Wednesday. I had my period on the 5th, so this isn't my normal menstrual cycle. I'm making an appointment to see a Dr. to get this figured out. I am also having some cramping, but I did have a great bowel movement this morning, so that's a plus.

Breakfast: Two pieces of lower sodium turkey bacon, hard-boiled egg, 4 tablespoons oatmeal (measured then cooked) with teaspoon honey, soy milk, ground flax seed.
Decaf coffee with heavy cream (this is the only dairy I am allowing myself because I am not adding a sweetener to my coffee).

10:00 snack: almonds,veggi cheese (this is like American Cheese but it is dairy free and not as good as regular cheese)
11:20 snack: Green beans with vinegar and olive oil dressing
Leftover re-fried black beans
3 triskets with butter (canola oil and butter spread) (see I'm bad)
M&Ms 1/2 1.69 oz. bag

Feeling/Health: My guts are bubbly, and I have some cramping. I also feel like I could take a nap, tired feeling, is that normal?

This is where it gets hard because I didn't write down what I ate after I picked the kids up from daycare and now I have to remember.

Apple from the tree at the park.

4 trisket crackers
Pea pods for snack, mini pepper
Snacked on almonds while making dinner
Dinner: Grill hamburger (no bread), roasted califlower and brustle sprouts with olive oil, salt and pepper.
Halloween cookie 
Carmel corn while going to grocery store

4 stuffed olives while putting groceries away

Exercise: I walked the kids to the park in the wagon. We walked the .5 mile loop around the park and played at the bridge for a while. It isn't much but it is something right?

I did take an hour nap with the kids after we got back from the park.

So that was today. Let's see how this goes.